The King of Comedy
©By Grady L. Duncan

Remember Red Skelton as Junior, “The Mean Little Kid”?
I was always amused by those mischievous things that he did.
“If I do’d it I’ll get a whup’n.....I do’d it!”, he would say.
I always laughed when I recalled it, even to this day.

He also played, “Clem Kadittlehopper”, a dumb country buffoon,
When he met up with his girlfriend, he’d say, “Well, Da-a-aizy June!”
He was a backwoods moron,…a shy crazy bumpkin,
who had no more sense than a hollowed out  pumpkin.

He was a sight to behold as “Freddy the Freeloader”
If he smelled as bad as he looked, it would be a horrific odor,
With his patched ragged clothes, and the worn fingerless glove.
Those were great days, and their memories I love.

As Gertrude and Heathcliff, he always got big cheers,
when he pulled his hat down over his ears,
flapping his arms with his thumbs under in his armpits,
as two conversing dumb seagulls, it was always a big hit.

His shows were never vulgar, but for the whole family.
If they had been given a rating, they would get a big “G”
As he brought us much laughter, he could also bring a few tears,
when he showed his true feelings, that you knew were sincere.

When he was acting his parts, he was funnier the most,
but when he was serious, he was a truly gracious host.
He closed every show, with a wish to his guests.
From the depths of his heart, he always said, “God Bless”.

I miss those nights of humor, but in my mind they are clear.
The world needs more like him, for those memories are dear.
Nobody can replace him, and his passing left a big hole.
“Red”, Go with ours blessing.  God rest your dear soul.

An excerpt from one of his shows

Heathcliff:Tell me Gerte, What's a polygon?
Gertrude:A polygon is a dead parrot.
Heathcliff:I heard Peter Rabbit went to the dentist to get a                       tooth pulled, and they wouldn't give him any Novocain.
Gertrude:Because Peter Rabbit is an Ether bunny!

Richard Bernard,"RED" Skelton
July 18th 1913 - September 17th, 1997
Red Skelton Hour Theme Song
"Holiday For Strings"
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As "Freddie The Freeloader"